The Medieval GTA You (Maybe) Didn’t Ask For
Grand Theft Auto is arguably the most powerful and lucrative franchise in the video game world. It’s no wonder the competition desperately (and often unsuccessfully) tries to snag a piece of this juicy pie. At the beginning of the 2020s, a Polish studio had the bonkers idea to imagine an old-school, feudal take on the GTA formula, and—you guessed it—it’s free to grab on the Epic Game Store for a limited time.
Released in August 2021, Rustler (or Grand Theft Horse) is an action-adventure game developed by Jutsu Games and published by Modus Games. Widely touted as a medieval homage to the early days of Grand Theft Auto, Rustler brings the sandbox, open-world formula into a purposefully anachronistic medieval universe—think absurd knights, pop-culture slogans, and humor that barely makes it above the belt.
Playing as ‘The Guy’: Farts, Fights, and Feudal Chaos
You step into the mud-caked boots of ‘The Guy’, a peasant-turned-thug who’s free to explore the overhead map on foot or horseback, take on main and side quests, sow chaos, or simply wander the medieval countryside. Gameplay brings together sword and crossbow combat, assorted missions, and an offbeat narrative style—but it does suffer from occasionally rigid mechanics and the sort of repetition that feels all too familiar in the genre.
Player reception has been… let’s just say ‘mixed’. Metacritic shows an average score around 59/100, mirroring the ambivalence among international critics. The editorial team over at JV handed it a 12/20, praising its original universe but highlighting both technical and structural shortcomings.
Rollercoaster of ‘WTF’ Moments
Time for a confession: I’m a real sucker for totally ‘WTF’ video game ideas. The very existence of a Grand Theft game set in a wacky, anachronistic medieval world was enough to spark my curiosity in 2021. Yet, I never took the plunge—mostly due to lack of time and, let’s be honest, lack of motivation. Back then, the JV review score cooled my enthusiasm. But its temporary free status on the EGS finally persuaded me to give it a shot. Oh, what was I thinking!
Rustler isn’t a bad game, far from it, and actually nails a vibe reminiscent of the movie A Knight’s Tale with the late, great Heath Ledger—just, you know, with a few extra crude jokes. I genuinely enjoy the glaring anachronisms and its open-world action-adventure ambitions, supposedly offering that famous ‘anything goes’ freedom. In reality? Not quite. Sure, you can slay every soul you meet and stir up chaos in town, but that’s pretty much where the mayhem ends.
A handful of quests do manage to stand out and even got an honest smile out of me. Unfortunately, GTH quickly runs in circles, despite topping out at around 16 hours to 100% the game (about 7 hours if you just stick to the main story). The hero is a boor—a farting, spitting, stinking brute who becomes grating after a while. There’s even a dedicated button for the noble art of ‘taking a dump.’ The Guy, truly an emblem of class.
Rustler: Regressively Silly or Just Regression?
Rustler is, above all, a throwback of sorts—a mix of juvenile violence and, well, even more juvenile gags. The most off-putting aspect for me remains the nonsensical gibberish (‘yogurt language’), which makes my skin crawl. But the soundtrack, blending period instruments with modern styles, somewhat makes up for the annoyances plaguing the adventure. Grand Theft Horse irritated me, made me chuckle, and, at moments, satisfied me. It also reminded me that making a compelling open-world sandbox action-adventure isn’t as simple as it looks!
For once, thanks Silent Jay—not for the game, since I probably won’t be playing it, but for the A Knight’s Tale reference, which I hadn’t seen before and is actually really good^^ Heath Ledger was fantastic; now I’m going to have to rewatch The Dark Knight…
